Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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