I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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