Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
