Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
