U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
