Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize