then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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