whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
