I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
