but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Someone signed my nipple.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
