he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
