where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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