bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
