that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
