if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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