didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
