is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
