oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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