In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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