i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
