I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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