Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
