is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
