The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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