dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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