matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
