Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize