I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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