For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
