Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
