Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize