Don't you send me to vm
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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