I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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