Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
