I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
