Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
