i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
