I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
