im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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