So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
