i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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