I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
