you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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