hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
