I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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