I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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