I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
