He uses pillows to masturbate.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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