Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
