The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
