he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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