i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
