So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
