Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
