needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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