you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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