If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
