I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
