Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
