you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
