i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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