Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
