The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
