the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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