Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
