nut hugger
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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