is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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