It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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