im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
